Porc Therapy 129: Chatequette

Stephanie and Mike talk about whatever issues or questions you have. In this episode:

[1 Question] Hello, Mike and Stephanie. This is Mandrik calling with a topic that has bothered me since shortly after I started using the internet in about 1994. It still bugs me today and I’ve only ever brought this up with one other person. Your joint feedback would be great. The topic is initiating conversation in the online world.

Now I consider myself a very good reader of individuals when it comes to face to face. It’ easy for me to tell when someone either wants to talk or just doesn’t care what you have to say. Using that information I know when it’s OK to initiate a conversation or just not bother. If I do initiate and the person is throwing signals out saying “leave me alone, leave me alone” I’ll just drop it and walk away. No problem. The problem I do have is I still try to take this mindset into the online world. So I’m looking for specific signals that simply aren’t there online.

lack of emotion, body language makes it impossible to know if I’m bugging the person or not. This has caused some of my friendships to deteriorate simply because I’m being a pest. I’ve had friendships die out because I got tired of always initiating conversations online. I feel like I’m being a burden, but I never really knew for sure. And to bring it up and have the person say “Oh no, you’re not bothering me” then it feels like they’re talking to me because I made them feel guilty.

So what do you guys think about this? Am I overanalyzing this? Should I just bring it up with my friends if I feel it’s going to be a problem? Is this something either of you two have experienced? Just let me know.

Thanks, Mike and Stephanie. Love you guys like a fat kid loves baklava.

[Stuff we talked about]
• Mandrik

http://Mandrik.com

• Agorism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agorism

• Google Voice

https://www.google.com

• Our “failbook” episode

http://porctherapy.com/2009/11/07/porc-therapy-007-failbook/

• Skype

http://http://www.skype.com/

[Disclaimer: take us with a grain of salt!]