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Stephanie and Mike talk about whatever issues or questions you have. This episode’s question(s):
My girlfriend of 4 years is saving herself for marriage and I have been very supportive of this but over the past 3 years we have moved from making out to “third base” (which she really enjoys). The only problem is it’s only me who’s doing the pleasuring and she doesn’t return the favor. This really frustrates me and I feel rejected. I’ve talked to her about it and she says “It’s not that I don’t want to do it but when I think about it, it feels weird.” If this continues I feel like we will break up because to me this is important because I put so much effort into pleasing her and then get no effort on her part. It feels like if I ask her for this favor then I am a jerk but if I don’t, I’m sabotaging an otherwise amazing relationship because the rejection is making me feel jaded about our relationship. Also to clarify, I asked if returning the favor contradicted her belief in abstinence (because if it did then all my previous actions do as well) and she said no.
What and how do I tell her? Should I tell her?
This is an internet-only episode.
Disclaimer: take us with a grain of salt!
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Porc Therapy is a pro-freedom relationship talk show that takes a unique look at the question of how we can attain the most individual liberty possible, starting with our personal lives and relationships with others. 
What if the girlfriend was sexually abused as a child, and has trauma that she needs to work through? This wasn’t mentioned as a possibility, and I think it’s an important one. The girlfriend might need serious therapy before she can enjoy *any* relationship.
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Abby, thanks for the comment – you raised a great point that I hadn’t thought about. Sexual abuse is unfortunately pretty common in this society. :(
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